Charm Chicks

The chicks blog about food, fashion, family, popular culture and more.

JENNY WHITE

Jenny White is the editor of Charm magazine.

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Charm Chicks

  • Ms.Informed: Take Care
    By Ms.Informed | Friday, July 30, 2010 - 09:16

    I have been sitting here for the last few weeks listening to all this Mel Gibson fiasco. He said, she said, possible recordings of his ranting and raving very negatively toward his baby mama. I have also heard recently that the recordings have been altered and may not all be true. Regardless of the evidence and what is in the media, there is one thing clear….Mel Gibson has issues.


    It made me start to realize how much of these types of relationships happen daily.

    Everyday non famous people are getting abused either mentally, physically, even emotionally. It makes you step back and look at your own relationship to see exactly IF it’s as ‘perfect’ as you want it to be. This holds true to this email I received from a reader.


    Dear Ms Informed:
    I have been in my relationship with my boyfriend for going on 7 months. The beginning was fabulous, he took me anywhere I wanted to go; he gave me whatever I wanted and constantly sent me flowers even when it wasn’t a special occasion. I felt like I was in heaven and on cloud 9 with this ‘perfect man’.

    Well, a few months into the relationship, he started acting different. He started wanting to know who the numbers were in my phone, who I was talking to ALL the time, where I was ALL the time and always wanted to go with me or didn’t want me to go at all. He keeps telling me not to listen to my parents and that everything they say is wrong. He rarely lets me see them even though I have tried on several occasions. I don’t know what to do. I love him but I don’t want to live like this either. Please Help.


    Sincerely,
    In Love & confused

    Dear Reader,
    The first thing I want to say about this relationship is ….RUN!!!!

    Even though everything ‘seems’ ok in the beginning, it has now reached a point of becoming a problem that could potentially escalate into something worse.


    Domestic abuse is the summary of physically, sexually and psychologically abusive behaviors directed by one partner against another, regardless of their marital status or gender.

    Generally, when one form of abuse exists, it is coupled with other forms as well.

    Domestic abuse may also be defined by identifying its function, that being the domination, punishment or control of one's partner. Abusers use physical and sexual violence, threats, money, emotional and psychological abuse to control their partners to get their way.


    I provided the above information because that is where your relationship is at this point and is heading to more worse situations.

    This is how it starts. I remember watching the old TV show ‘A Different World.’ the spin off to ‘The Cosby Show’. On one episode, the cook at the place the kids hung out at, said that a friend of his had a husband who beat her and this woman felt that the reason he beat her was because he loved her so much. One day, he loved her to death.

    That resonates quite a bit with me to just how naive and psychologically screwed up victims can be, after enduring abuse.


    This is a subject that can get VERY lengthy and be a VERY long discussion.

    I would rather provide some VERY good information for those who want to find out if they are in an abusive relationship (it does NOT have to be physical to be abusive). It is a good idea to go to the websites provided just to see.


    http://www.domesticviolence.org/


    National Domestic Violence hotline: 24 hr access: www.ndvh.org


    My Sister's House-Local help for victims of Domestic Violence: http://www.mysistershousenc.org/

     

    Ms. Informed in an anonymous advice columnist that titillates us with her witty, uplifting, common-sense advice, while keeping us entertained and laughing at the same time. Ms. Informed is a busy blogger in her non-Charm life. You can read her blog here.


    We would love for people to leave questions or issues for Ms. Informed to discuss in the comments (you can do that with just a screen name showing) or email them to me at jwhite@rmtelegram.com.  And also, don't be a ninny. You know, like any advice column out there, it's mostly for entertainment purposes. If you REALLY need PROFESSIONAL advice, please call a licensed mental health professional. Don't be emailing us to help decipher voices in your head speaking German or to help you figure out what those blackouts are about. So, just so you know.

     


     

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  • And off he goes ....
    By Julia Lowe | Wednesday, July 28, 2010 - 16:22

    I am now the mother of a kindergartener.

    Wow.

    As with all things nostalgic, the last six years have gone by both so fast and so slow. I loved being pregnant with him—never sick, never tired. He was the best baby. Ate well, slept well, played well.

    I cried that day in August when the calendar arrived for him to start two-year-old preschool. But he marched in, looked back at me but just barely, and started his school career. By week two he introduced himself the rest of the year as Diego. I cringed as I learned he refused to be quiet during chapel and instead sang, “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” at the top of his lungs.

    But we survived. And have been truly blessed by all the wonderful preschool teachers we have had.

    So what is kindergarten like? I’m told it is “tougher.” I almost cried during open house when the teacher talked about how much our children would learn and how much they would take care of and love our babies. I still need someone to love my baby and see how wonderful he is and marvel at all the fascinating things he says.

    In the days before the first day of school, Sam asked me, “So you’re not going to walk me in?”  For him it was more a question of clarity than concern. We picked out a new bookbag (lime green), discussed the difference between school clothes and play clothes, and how big kid school lasts all day.

    July 20, 2010. D-Day. I didn’t cry. I didn’t even come close. I was excited for him. And I could be excited instead of worried because I knew he was ready. It was time for him to venture into the world a bit without holding Mommy’s hand. So as he drove off to school with Daddy, his sisters and I waved enthusiastically and blew kisses to him.

    As I turned to go back in the house with my daughters, a sense of relief overcame me. He will be busy, engaged, learning and supervised for seven whole hours and I’m not responsible. I don’t have to worry about how long he has been on the computer or watching tv because I’m trying to do laundry, make dinner, clean something, potty train someone or pry apart his siblings. 

    So not only was I excited for him, I was excited for me. Now what can I do?? Learn to cook? Exercise? Write a novel? Repaint the house? I feel like the choices are endless. Guess I have twelve months to get all that done. Then comes first grade and homework starts.
     

     

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  • Ten things
    By Jenny White | Monday, July 26, 2010 - 10:00

    If I could leave comments on a few things going on today, here's what I would say:

    1. Em, you'll be fine in your new class at daycare. Moving up is a good thing. Hitting is STILL against the rules.

    2. Someone, please figure out why the storms disintegrate over Rocky Mount and why the rain will not fall. My husband is going insane from worrying and fretting about why the rain doesn't come when the radar says it's here.

    3. The mean nasty commenters that leave comments on our news stories don't matter, people. There are probably five of these people, total. Don't let them get you riled up.

    4. The parents that went to see their kids play in the baseball tournament at Rocky Mount Sports Complex this weekend deserve a medal AND a cash prize.

    5. I wish there was a mid-year tax refund.

    6. The Rocky Mount Farmer's Market on Peachtree Street is the place to be on Saturday mornings.

    7. If you go to the Farmer's Market with a young child that is strangely strong, don't leave her stroller too close to the tables. Especially the tables with tablecloths on them. With nice juicy tomatoes on top.

    8. Thomas, 10, thinks next time I help some organization plan an event with food, it should be catered by the new Sheetz store.

    9. Last week I could barely understand my two year-old nephew Luke, and this morning he clearly told me, "I have a Cadillac," describing his Hot Wheel of the Day. Pretty cool!

    10. I thought about accessorizing today with a fashion scarf - and then decided I may look like an idiot with a scarf on.

    Luke, 2. His vocabulary is taking off -  with every Hot Wheel he gets!

     

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  • My house, any given weekday at about 5:30 p.m.
    By Jenny White | Wednesday, July 21, 2010 - 10:33

    Like clockwork, as soon as we walk in the door in the evenings, the whining begins. She doesn't want me to put her down, she wants me to put her down, she wants a snack, but not any snack I offer. She wants a drink, but not in that cup, she wants to dance, but not to that song. NOTHING can make her happy ....

    except some strange piece of something she pulls out of the trash ....

    that her big brother knows exactly what to do with! "I got this, Mom," he says.

    Sometimes, it takes the mentality and quirkiness of a 10-year-old boy to come up with something that will keep her occupied so I can make a 15 minute meal. Who else would have thought a piece of discarded plastic tubing thingy would do the trick?

    Then Em decides to share some of her great ideas with big brother. "Try this, it's delicious."

    "You can't eat Lincoln Logs, silly girl," he says. "Let's build something!"

    A house - kind of.

    As most play in our house ends - DESTRUCTION!

    She's got memory problems. "Hey, Thomas, let's eat some Lincoln Logs."

    "Really, it's delicious..."

    And we may have some consistancy issues. "Em, you're right! And this plastic roof is good too."

    Hahahahaha! We're hilarious.

    "OK, now where's some Mom? I've got some more whining to do."

    How about you? If you've got kids, is there any other time of the day more stressful than just-home-trying-to-get-something-on-the-table time?

     

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  • Real Housewives of NJ: The Boxer
    By Jenny White | Wednesday, July 21, 2010 - 09:37

    It's getting kind of boring. I see now why Bravo didn't fire Danielle from the show, like all the other girls wanted. This show would be NOTHING, without her craziness.

    Here's the recap:

    I loved how the Bravo editors went from Teresa's girls at a karate/wrestling/play lesson, right into Danielle's boxing lesson. Sweet to insane. Danielle took her daughters with her and the embarrassed look on Christine's face when her mom started yelling out Jac and Teresa's names as she punched her coach, was priceless.


    Meanwhile Caroline counsels everyone, and they all leave her after breakfast, leaving her to ponder what to do with her empty days. She tells Jac that her spies in the law enforcement community tell her that Ashley is going to be charged with assualt/hair pulling. Jac summons Ashley to Caroline's for counseling and Ashley is her usual dopey dumb self and still doesn't get it. She laughs at it all.

    Teresa visits Kim D. at Posche and tells her she's sorry about what happened at the fashion show, but she was just trying to be nice, because that's the way she is- a water under the bridge type of gal and doesn't hold grudges. Then Kim G. walks in and Teresa tells her she has no room for two-faced bitches in her life and she needs to choose a side and stick with it. It would have been a great speech, if she hadn't just told the other girls about how she didn't hold grudges and stuff ...

    Danielle holds an assembly in front of the police station with some random women and her attorney. She basically gives ANOTHER recap of what happened at the fashion show, complete with new amped up descriptions including screams from the Manzos of "I'm going to kill you!" She files assault charges against Ashley.

    Best Housewife Moment: Jac to Kim G., the day after pics are in the newspaper of Danielle and friends (including Kim G) marching into police station to get Ashley arrested: "This looks like some kind of busted up Sex in the City movie - you arm in arm with Danielle skipping into the police station. And you show up at my house and want to be friends? Are you kidding me?"

    Worst Housewife Moment:  Danielle's constant embellishment of the fashion show fiasco culminated in this episode with a charge that someone yelled out they were going to kill her. HELLO! This is a reality TV show and there are tapes. I trust Bravo would surely have left that part in, if it had happened. Danielle's  fun dementedness is starting to cross the line, into sad mentally ill woman.

    "And then, Jac jumped out with an AK47 and started spraying me with bullets, telling me to dance. And Teresa was constantly throwing numchuks my way, tyring to KILL ME! Or maybe my hair got pulled, whatever."
     

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  • Letter to Mel Gibson*
    By Jenny White | Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - 09:26

    (This blog entry contains heavy use of the word, "a**hole," so don't read any further if this word offends you. And you might want to think about not going to anymore of his movies if that word offends you either.)

    Dear Mel*,
    Pundits and bloggers and commentators and celebrity journalists can hash out and re-hash your career, what's to become of your career, will he or will he not bounce back or will any actress ever appear with you in a movie again - but none of that really matters.

    The sad truth is, you'll probably be fine. It's very possible you WILL have a "come-back" and live to make another billion dollars in movie ticket sales.

    And that sucks, but that's the kind of world we live in today.

    I'm not begrudging you your upcoming forgiveness, which I'm sure you'll receive, or your humble Enlightenment Press Tour, but I just want you to know a small nugget of real truth:

    We all know you're an asshole.

    Your grown daughter knows the truth.

    The two mothers of your children know the truth.

    And one day, your new baby girl will know the truth.

    All the mothers, nuns, skanks, whores, gold-diggers, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN, in all walks of life, we all know (thanks to the those pesky tapes out there) and mostly agree: you can be a real asshole.

    Any man that speaks the way you do to a woman, REPEATEDLY, is an asshole.

    Period. End of story.

    However, there are lots of highly-functioning assholes in the world, and I'm sure you'll end up just fine.

    And as long as you don't mind that people just THINK this, and still go to your movies or whatever, I guess everything will continue on, status quo for you.

    I may one day say, "Are you guys going to see that new Mel Gibson movie this weekend?"

    But I'll think to myself, "Asshole."

    My son may say to me, "Is that Braveheart movie true?"

    And I'll say, yes and maybe mention what a good movie it is. And think to myself, "It's got that asshole in it"

    Women everywhere, will see your picture on a big movie poster and think, "He's OK for an old guy - but what an asshole."

    Like baseball players that have achieved some record, but also been found to cheat their way to the top, there will always be an asterisk by your name.

    An asterisk for "asshole".

    Good luck Mel

    ***


    Jenny White
     

    Oscar winner Mel Gibson**

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  • Even Steven
    By Jenny White | Monday, July 19, 2010 - 09:47

    I've been noticing lately - how my kids balance me out.

    Or, at least, keep my insanity from becoming full-blown.

    Whenever I start to feel sad because Thomas never wants to hang out with me, and always wants to be with his friends, Em will crawl in my lap, point her finger in my face and say, "Mommy, Mommy?"

    And I smile, and say, "Baby? Are you my baby?"

    And she smiles and snuggles down.

    And when Em finally goes to bed, and I am so tired from her NEEDING me for 12 hours straight - Thomas will plop on his bed, offer me the bean-bag and ask me to come veg out and watch a movie with him.

    With snacks, of course.

    And then we have an awesome conversation about how dumb those people that live in Bella's town are, because they don't realize there is something wrong with those really pale white kids.

    THEY'RE VAMPIRES, PEOPLE!

    He makes me laugh and I totally chill-out for the first time all day long.

    Anyway, sometimes it's hard to switch gears from tween parenting to baby parenting. And sometimes, if I'm really frazzled, I even try to give them dog commands, like, "SIT!"

    But somehow, they make it all work out OK.

    And I wouldn't change a thing.

    On our way to Nana and Pop's.

     

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  • Real Housewives of NJ: The Fight Scene!
    By Jenny White | Tuesday, July 13, 2010 - 13:06

    What an unbeweavable night of television!

    As I told my husband, when I passed  him in the living room on the way to the kitchen during a commercial break to get some chocolate to help me deal with all the stress, "This is the BEST Housewives episode EVER!" (He rolled his eyes.)

    There was a chase scene and everything!

    It was the most disturbing and hilarious TV I've seen in a long time.

    Well, since the Scary Island episode on RHONY.

    Here's what happened:

    We're back at the local country club, where Teresa is parked outside the Ladies room where Danielle is exiting with her entourage. Teresa says she "really" just wanted to clear the air - but that's a total crock. She was way to gleeful and happy to be making small talk with someone she professes to hate. She wanted a scene. And of course psycho Danielle gave it to her. The name calling progresses and then D did the worst thing possible you can do in these situations: She ran. Doesn't she know that's a sure way to get chased?!

    It was like a movie scene, D was throwing chairs behind her to "trip" Teresa and Teresa was like a rabid dog on the hunt for whatever rabid animals like eat. People were grabbing her, trying to stop her from chasing D, and she was throwing them off and slipping out of their grasp like she was coated in Crisco. Danielle obviously doesn't watch too many action movies, because everyone knows, when you're being chased, NEVER stop in a corner - that's how the girls ALWAYS get killed!

    Also in the chase: Ashley pulls Danielle's hair (I really dislike that kid), Kim G continuously screams at Danielle to 'CALM DOWN," Harry the driver seems pretty cool, Caroline has to be in a scene with Jac and Teresa discussing the aftermath of the fashion show and you can tell it's KILLING HER, not to yell at them about what morons they are and ask them what grade their brains stopping developing. Third?

    Danielle also gives her take on the Fashion Show Debacle throughout this episode and she reiterates her theory that the Manzo's are trying to kill her and she's not going to stand for it anymore. I think it's a given that she will have Ashley arrested for pulling her hair.

    Overall I think Jac and Teresa were trying to stir the pot - but come on, what kind of TV show would this be if they didn't? I did kind of think maybe they should stop now though. Clearly Danielle is the villian here, and we don't want to have to start rooting for her because the other girls are being meaner.

    Best Housewife Moment: When Jac's husband Chris responded to Ashley saying she could pull anybody's hair she wanted to, because she was 18, by basically saying this: "Who's going to be paying for the lawyers when Danielle busts you for assault? You CAN NOT do as you please, unless you're ready to pay up for the consequences and you're not having to live in my house. So mind your own business and do what we tell you to do or pack your bags and GET THE HELL OUT!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap! They need to pull this girl out of all filming because she is losing sight of real life and living in a fake reality TV life. Where the point is being as outrageous as possible to get more camera time, instead of finding out who you are so you can become a productive person on this planet. Good luck Jac!

    Worst Housewife Moment: Jac's struggle to provide a good, dramatic show by using teen-agerish behavior to enrage and incite and draw out psycho Danielle, but at the same time telling her daughter Ashley to reign it in, leave Danielle alone and stop trying to provoke her. Again, Ashley is ruining the fun by making me really worry about how she's going to end up as an adult, participating in this very adult-fare soap opera, while she's still a developing young adult. GET HER OFF THE SHOW!

    "Danielle, that prostitute-whore stuff was last season. I'm over that. Let's try to be friends, OK, bitch..?"

    Here's a video of the fight scene:

     

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  • Better than a romance novel
    By Jenny White | Monday, July 12, 2010 - 13:56

    I had to watch this video a couple times.

    And then do some research on exactly what in the world they're saying, since the whole video is in Spanish.

    Basically this guy just won the World Cup. And he's being interviewed by this girl, who happens to be his girlfriend too.

    She asks him how he feels and he says, all this gobblygook about his parents, and team mates.

    And when he starts to tear up - he is saying, "You...."

    And she sees he's getting teary and emotional and tries to cut him short and keep it professional and says, "We can talk about this later....."

    And he just .....reaches over .....

    And wow.

    I'm done.

    This guy has just convinced me I should watch more soccer.

     

     

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  • Wearing as little as possible
    By Jenny White | Sunday, July 11, 2010 - 14:41

    With temps at 100 and heat indexes at "You don't want to go out there," I have found myself adjusting my wardrobe accordingly. This means:

    • No form-fitting clothes because there's no way in hell I'm wearing Spanx in this heat.
    • Clothes that go with flip-flops. Or at least flats, because heels make me hotter. As in sweating more - hotter.
    • Mostly skirts and dresses - so I can catch a breeze.
    • No cute Jackie-O sweaters or short-sleeve jackets because there is no layering in 100 degree weather.
    • Lots of sundresses.

    I've pulled out all of my jersey and cotton dresses and have been wearing the heck out of them.

    Here are some pretty dresses to keep you cool(er).

    I have this one, in a different color from a different year. It's one of my favorite go-to styles for summer casual. This one is $68 from J.Crew.

     

    I found a great etsy store that has beautiful handmade dresses. This drawstring beauty looks extra comfy and comes in a few different prints. It's $60 and you can see/order it here.

    Jersey is the best for summer comfort. I love the style of this jersey dress from Victoria's Secret. It's on sale for $59 and comes in a lot of colors. Those boobs don't come with the dress ...Ha! (Is there any way those could possibly be real? I'm fascinated by this picture. What kind of contraption is holding them up like that?)

    I love ruching! You don't have to suck in your stomach so much, if there's a little ruching! Here's another jersey choice - this one is by Halogen and you can see it at nordstrom.com. It also comes in a few other colors, it's $78.

    This cotton dress is $29 and it's at Old Navy. It comes in a few different prints and colors, all very summery. It has a thin slip underneath to keep everything legal.

    I LOVE this dress. I think my Mom had this dress in 1979. I really want this one, it's called the Sand Art Dress, from modcloth.com and it's $54.

    By Southern fRock, these designers specialize in summer jersey dresses. Rocky Mount native Emily Newnam is co-owner of this new up and coming dress company and knows a thing or two about staying stylish in the Carolina summer heat. This is one of several designs you can see and order at southernfrock.com. This one is called The Shackleford and is $80.

    Here's a nice cotton sundress, from Kohl's. It's $40 and has a thin slip to offer a little modesty.

    This is the kind of sundresses I remember my mom wearing, with the smocked top. I don't think she was wearing Juicy Couture though. This is $150 and I found it on shopbop.com.

     

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